STUNNING PAINTING BY PETER BARKER!

I think, since Peter Barker - that's my gorgeous, lovely partner - is always waffling on about what a great writer I am on his blog,  it's time I waffled on about what a brilliant artist he is on my blog.

Feast your eyes on this!



I know...brilliant, isn't it?
And there's much more, You can see his much admired work on his website and blog. Here are the links.
http://www.peterbarkerpaintings.co.uk/
http://peter-peterbarkerpaintings.blogspot.co.uk/

His blog-write-ups are incredibly colourful too! I've told him: he should have been a writer! ; )
Speak soon
Janey

OOOOPS - SHAMEFACED ME....

I want to say a very big thank you to all those that have either bought the hard copy or downloaded WALKING ON MARSHMALLOWS on kindle, but I have a very big apology to make. I very stubbornly kept my book close to my heart so much that I didn't let anyone proof-read it other than myself, and of course you cannot proof-read your own work. Hence, a very dear friend of mine in south Africa bought my book recently, read it, loved it, but said, oh dear Janey there were some typos in it. Since then she has proof-read it thoroughly for me, and within the next few days the book will be uploaded again without the errors! For those that have already purchased, my humble apologies, and I truly hope it hasn't diluted your enjoyment of Angie's antics.

Speak soon...
a very red faced me...

THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH MARSHMALLOWS

Besides wolfing them down in huge handfuls, there's lots you can do with Marshmallows.

You can toast them next to an open fire.
You can sprinkle them on drinking choc.
You can dip them in chokky (ooo yummie...)
...Or toasted coconut.
Or make a nice cake icing out of them.
Or make a smiley face on top of said cake.
Or string them into a snazzy necklace.
Or even shove them up your nose for that matter.
But the best thing by far is to DOWNLOAD THEM!
Come on!Easy-peasy! Get to it! And that is an order!

WALKING ON MARSHMALLOWS is available on Amazon, and (unless you are a robot) promises to tickle not only your ribs, but every single part of your anatomy.
A great summer read to curl up next to the pool with, or for those freezing their butts off in colder climes, perfect for stretching out in front of a roaring fire.

Here's the link:
Amazon:WalkingonMarshmallows

Now come on...
; )

FOR ANYONE WHO DARES

Here's a link below to us girls and boys at our local community choir last Saturday when we did our mid-year concert - yes I didn't mention that, did I? Not only am I a prolific writer, but an incredible soprano too! (My writing keeps me far too busy to enter into these current competitions doing the rounds at present...X-Factor, BGT, etc...great pity...)
Thankfully, I'm mostly hidden on the left front row by a bald head in the audience (not Peter's...although his was about three feet behind that particular one...) Occasionally thought, you might get a glimpse of me fidgeting and biting my thumb nail and looking gormless, and when the occasion rose, opening my mouth as wide as a hungry little bird about to fledge.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZZAZCbILOcct8-q5lMUv-eRpM9bi71nM

Bi for now
Speak soon...

BLIND DATES ARE MAYBE NOT THE ANSWER!

For those of you passing through and not taking cognizance of the pure literary genius a mere click away, here is a little taster below that I've plucked from Chapter four. And if you're wondering what is going on it's something to do with a blind date from hell, but that's all I'm saying. Get the book! It's only 2-99 on Amazon! Cheap as chips, and worth it's weight in gold. Well that is what I've been told ; )

Here goes...

Start of Ch 4

To be fair, delusions of grandeur quashed, close up he wasn’t too bad. This Angie valiantly concluded as the car pulled away from the litter-strewn apocalypse. At least, nothing that wasn’t fixable, especially these days, what with the onslaught of self-enhancement programmes such as Gok and Trinny & Suzannah, or that hoity-toity blonde with winged glasses whose name escaped her at present.

Teetering on this observation, Angie mentally catalogued his potential as they hurtled out of the crumbling estate and headed east towards the A47. For starters he could quite easily dispense of the facial hair and ponytail (both clearly an over-compensation for the lack of same on top) and with a quick fashion change, high-quality rug, built up shoes, head transplant.

Okay!

Alright!

What was left of Angie’s optimism plummeted. Not only was he the creepiest, most revolting man she’d ever set eyes on, but he was clearly committing the cardinal sin of wearing crocks over socks.

Oh Gad, why oh why hadn’t she insisted on a sneak preview? If she’d done that, like Matt suggested, none of this would have happened. Still, it was a bit too late in the day for that now. Now was the time for damage control, or rather to take control, because clearly from the constant rustling noise behind (Hazel pretending to tidy her already clinically immaculate handbag) there clearly was zero bonding taking place.

Time for a sneak peek.

Neck rigid as a poker, Angie, rolled her eyes clockwise, did a quick scan then rolled them counter-clockwise again. Honestly, if Hazel could put any more distance between them she’d be perched on the sodding bumper. And if nothing she could at least spark up a conversation with the poor sod. Apart from a monosyllabic grunt when he stumbled his way into the back, she hadn’t uttered a single word since.

The air in the car was so thick you could slice it with a hacksaw.

And Matt wasn’t helping either.

Angie tried to snag him, but he was all poker-faced and staring rigidly ahead, the only vital signs of life a little tick on the side of his jaw every few seconds.

Typical, just bloody typical.

Oh it was no use. As usual it would have to be up to her to save the day.

Grafting a smile on her face, Angie twisted round and peered cheerily though the gap.

‘Everything alright back there in the stalls?’

Hazel impaled her with a homicidal glare then went back to her frenzied ferreting.

‘So Terry—’

‘It’s Trevor,’ enlightened Matt, dragging his eyes jumpily off the road.

...So, there you have it, lots of laughs and many, many more to come.

Do yourself a favour (and me the honour) and get a copy!

Speak soon...let me get back to the grindstone

Janey 

Aha!

Aha! I got a comment! Well that was long coming after such a dry period. Nice surprise and surprisingly a very complimentary one. So a quick blog to say "peoples out there, do contact me!" It would be wonderful to hear from those further afield, writers, gardeners, painters! Anyone! Communication is a wonderful thing. So chow for now - I'm practising for my choir concert for tomorrow. I can't sing for toffee (and wing it a lot of the time..) but at least I'm willing, and it's pretty uplifting, even though I sound like a frog with a sore throat. Bye for now I'm off to have a lovely, deserving

Speak later.
Bi

DOGS, ART, TREKKING, COFFEE, AND A BIT OF EDITING: IT'S ALL HERE TODAY FOLKS!

Quick jot of the day to keep the momentum going as I see I am getting lots of people dropping by, which I feel is a miracle since many are in far flung places - even Russia! But keep dropping by and I've decided to leave my email address just in case someone wants to drop me a line.

Sadly today I can't really write anything (altho' have done a quick bit of editing of yesterdays scrawl) I'm off today to visit a local artist, Josette, who crafts the most amazing stuff out of cardboard. For anyone who is interested, I will get her details so I can add the link. Later on I'm off to have a final practise with my choir since it is our concert next week, and I don't think I'm up to speed! The worst is, I'm right at the front, so if I make a mistake and start bumbling, or singing with the tenors (which did last year...this reedy little soprano cutting off in mid-warble) everyone can see!

In between that I'm going to drop more flyers around my local villages - the other day we - my daughter Olive and I -  dropped a hundred a fifty and it worked! When we got home I saw I had some sales - so there you go, marketing does work. It wasn't great shakes, but then I'm grateful for anything, and happy that I can make even one person laugh out loud, and as my darling Peter is fond of saying "hope, springs eternal..." bless him, he is a very enthusiastic person, smiles all the time...I think I mentioned that. Thank goodness he keeps me on the straight and narrow. Oh! Forgot to mention about the dog. I pushed one of the flyers in one of our village doors (very posh, monolithic frontage, Farrow &  Ball conservatoooire dahling, mink and manure oozing from the letterbox...) - when suddenly I hear this very deep almost sepulchral barking coming from the other side, and suddenly I felt the ends of my fingers (which were trapped in that bristly draft-resistant bit at the back) being nipped. I almost died of shock! I managed to yank it out, albeit half the flesh of my knuckles being left behind - evidence my dear Watson, evidence! Anyway, when I turned round my daughter was falling all over the place with laughter, even admitting as I staggered pale-faced up to her that she'd actually, literally (as the youth all say) pee'd herself!

I'm going now, my lovely freshly ground Taylor's from Harrowgate coffee is finished (I should get paid for that bit of advertising...) so I don't have an excuse to stay on here.

Here's my email address janeuknow@gmail.com - do drop me a line, would love to hear from other writers and people that are fond of the planet!

And here's a pic of my flyers and my basket of wares ready for the onslaught-

Cute aren't they?
Speak soon, will be back with more jottings!
Janey...
Did I say something about this being a very quick jot? I think I did, but from the looks of things it's probably the longest I've ever done! Oh Lordy, the hing is, I LOVE TO WRITE!
Bi again..

THYME IS OF THE ESSENCE...

Isn't this gorgeous...

This little pot of thyme is sitting in my porch basking in the sun and, if you look closely just flowering. See...yes, those lovely vibrant little purple flowers, so beautiful. I absolutely love thyme and have planted little clumps of it in between paving so that it not only looks beautiful when in bloom but will give off a delicious scent when walked on. And, of course, much better than weeds!

Now this pot has a history, having been transported in my container from South Africa. It, along with a chive pot, were given to me for mother's day by my daughter Lauren many moons ago and so I couldn't sell it like I did many other items. (Mothers keep some of the most bizarre items, don't they?)Sadly they both have lost their bottoms (perfectly fitting drip trays) so most of the time when I water it I get a flood of water dripping down to the floor, thankfully which is quarry-tiled.So no harm done...

Thought all you gardeners out there might like to share that one...

So there you have it: my jot of the day.
Speak later...Janey

mmmmmm....IT'S RAINING MINI MARSHMALLOWS!!!

...and nothing better than a few delicious treats to entice ; )

Today is "marshmallow campaign" day! Our aim, as you can see from the snapshot below, is to drop an advertising flyer with a little sachet of pink and white marshmallow treats attached, to every house in Rutland! Not today of course; it  might be the most bijoux county in England, but still pretty big and I should say will most probably take weeks, even month of (weather permitting) heavy trekking. So out with the wellies and bottles of water. We're off!
Oh PS, credit for this ingenious idea goes to my daughter, Olivia - sometimes dubbed as my little Olive - who has been my right hand throughout all this, and keeps coming up with more and more great ideas. Thank you, darling!

HONESTY BOXES IN THE TWENTY FIRST CENTURY

If you know what one of these is then you'll be surprising to know that they really do exist..honesty...I mean honestly. Last night at nearly ten o' clock my tum started to rumble so I decided to rustle up an omelette. Realising I didn't have one single egg left after using them all up with my South African visitors of late, I was about to settle for a boring piece of toast. Then I remembered our wonderful honesty box belonging to our farming neighbours two doors down, rushed out, plopped one pound ten pee into the box and scurried back home. How wonderful - not only eggs on tap, but fresh, fresh, fresh, and delicious!

Oh I love village life; after the vast, dusty plains of Africa and state of the art security alarms and living behind iron grilles and high walls and fear, how nice it is to live in quintessential quaintness.  I used to live in Durban by the way and now live in South Luffenham, Rutland (England's tiniest county) in a little cottage with a wild garden and winding path...and a dreamy man with the most beautiful smile...could it really get any better than that? have a look on Google Earth ; )

Thought I'd share that with you.

Now nose back to the grindstone, or rather fingers back to the keyboard

Bi for now

Janey

You are so kind!

Delighted to say that not only are my fellow Englishmen downloading my book, but I have had sales in America. How wonderful, and I'd like to say, if you have dropped by on my blog, a HUGE thank you and hope you are truly enjoying the English humour.

Bi for now

Let me get back to the grindstone!

Janey